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Tummy Time
Tummy Time is an incredibly cruel technique used only by the wicked. It is so lethal and inhumane that it is illegal to perform and is punishable with a death sentence. Origin Tummy Time's creation is an enigma. For a long time it was thought to have been written and developed in the infamous book "The Anar-CYST'S Cookbook" but recent archaeological digs from West Africa show rock carvings depicting ancient cryptids performing tummy time on unsuspecting village children. Somewhere along the line, the Awesome Oscar and Meaty Morris variations were added to this technique. Eventually in the early 70's, Tummy Time was outlawed and the SWAT was formed shortly after to crack down on underground Tummy Time performances among other heavily illegal acts. Since then, the technique has been spread through faint whispers and short lasting forum posts on the deep web. It is believed that this game of underground telephone has slowly dampened the proper techniques for a truly terrible Tummy Time but it is still considered incredibly deadly and painful if the survivor testimonies and multiple deaths are considered a believable basis. Technique It is highly illegal to share information pertaining to the performance of tummy time. However, it is notable that all major cases of Tummy Time have occurred between a mother and her non-consenting child within all of recorded history. This information is available for release solely in hopes that victims of Tummy Time may be more easily identified given family context. Side Effects Tummy Time has many known side effects. The most common are softened stools and damaged intestines alongside rectal bleeding and bruising on the stomach. Prolonged exposure may lead to a total collapse of internal organs and severe internal bleeding. It is also possible for those who experience Tummy Time who are already at risk for a hernia to be put in more danger due to the techniques commonly used for Tummy Time often helping to progress a stomach's slow crawl towards the jugular. Women are not spared either as prolonged Tummy Time can lead to infertility or stillborn children if the victim is pregnant. Interview Transcript Below is a rare transcript of an interview conducted with one of the only known survivors of Tummy Time in recent history able to recount his experiences. His severe trauma has proven to have shattered his psyche and left him to relive that horrific day over and over. His caretaker has asked for him to remain anonymous. Interviewer (A): So, can you tell us about Tummy Time? Interviewee (B): Tummy time.... NO! Mom please! I don't want tummy time! Please mom, no, I'm 47 and you're like, 80! I don't want this! You won't let me move out! A: Sir, calm down... B: You intercept my paychecks so I can't pay my own rent! I can't live like this! Please mom! No tummy time! I'm 47! I'm an adult. I DON'T WANT TUMMY TIME! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF! YOU ALWAYS TAKE OUT MY PROSTHETICS AND PUT ME INTO THE SCARY ROOM WITH THE CHAINS! I DON'T WANT TO FILL UP THE POO PIT, I DON'T WANT AN AWESOME OSCAR, AND I DO NOT WANT TUMMY TIME! NO NO NO! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! Category:Actions Category:Forbidden Techniques